We have to notice ourselves in the picture
As facilitator with vast international experience, Adam Kahane addresses essential questions of leading, failing and still being in contact with each other. Methodically he is giving birth to innovative approaches. His writing offers profound personal insights to his learnings and his work. We talked about Adams’ recent book „Collaborating with the Enemy.“
Gabriel Fehrenbach: We have to work with ourselves instead of trying to change the other ones. Adam, this is the main idea of your recent book, that we have to work with ourselves instead of trying to change the other ones. What, in your opinion, is the source of this habit to mostly concentrate on the others?
Adam Kahane: There are a lot of ideas about this. René Girard wrote about the phenomenon of the scapegoat, as only one example to show, that this is a significant, not just psychological but moral issue. For me it is something in the realm of powerlessness or irresponsibility. It’s easy to say that I am not responsible for this. It is those other people. Or it is too complicated for me to admit that I might have a responsibility
What might help people to overcome this habit? How can we work with ourselves?
We have to notice ourselves in the picture by questioning, how are we part of rather than apart from this situation? In some recent workshops, I asked people to write about a difficult situation and to write two versions of the story. A version of the story where they are outside, judging and blaming others, and a version of the story where they are inside as an actor. People have two reactions: One is — oh my god, I now see that I have a role in this. The second I was not expecting. It is — now I have agency.
How does this concept of taking responsibility for myself change the role for us as consultants, as facilitators?
That’s a difficult question because the consultant or the facilitator is not the only example, but an obvious example of a role that imagines themselves to be outside the situation. I started a few years ago asking facilitators the following question: When a team is being facilitated, there are only one or two persons in the room for whom the accomplishment of the task of the group and their interests are identical. Who are those people? The facilitator and maybe the boss. But for everybody else in the room, the accomplishment of the group as a whole and their interest are to a greater or lesser extent different.
So one step is to recognize, that I have an interest in this, that I need to be transparent about that and then to give as much respect to the interest of others rather than pretending my interest is a higher or more legitimate interest.
Secondly I should recognize that even in a small way I am part of every system and therefore my action or inaction have a responsibility.
You once wrote: If you are not a part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution. If you see yourself as a facilitator maybe from a very decent level, how can you be part of a problem?
That’s something I do not understand completely. Presently I am working in a project in North Cauca Valley of Colombia which is a rural area in Colombia struggling to implement peace accords. With that example, there could be two answers to your question. One: In a distant way I am part of the problem. The situation in the North Cauca Valley is related to the attention or inattention of citizens in other countries, drug consumption in other countries, the role of Canadian mining companies in Colombia and the role of the UN in Colombia. Second: I have a remote participation in the problem, I should not exaggerate my role in the solution. I can provide a friendly, neutral facilitation role, but my capacity to change the system is very limited. Actually 95 percent of the solution will come from the local actors.
Are solutions possible or is it the wrong goal?
The word solution is problematic. When I wrote my first book entitled “Solving tough problems”, Peter Senge initially refused to write the foreword . He said, these are not problems that have solutions, so the title is incorrect. I agree, this phrasing — problem and solution — is not accurate, just like a marriage is not a problem that has a solution. It is a situation, a relationship, an unfolding that you can deal with skillfully or unskillfully. These are situations which different actors find problematic in different ways and for different reasons and no they are not amenable to solutions. They are amenable to working with, working through, moving on. Like a life, like a marriage, like children, like anything organic.
You once quote the Bhagavad Gita: You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of the work. How does this relate to your own experience as facilitator?
Most of the time things will not be finished and I will not even be able to know if they are finished or solved. So I must do the best I can try to act as skillfully and properly and helpfully as I can. And I have to recognize two things: The one thing is, I will not know for sure whether something is successful or unsuccessful. You cannot judge an event at the event level. You can have a great meeting which produces no results and you can have a terrible meeting which is the impetus for great results later. The second thing is: Even if it is a success, it is not necessarily due to me and even if it is a failure it is not necessarily due to me. So I try not to be too caught up in the question of the fruit, the result, but to focus on doing the best job I can.
Is there not any kind of helplessness in this attitude or stance?
Helpless in English has a very strong connotation of “there is nothing I can do”, so it has an entirely weak connotation. The Bhagavad Gita quote is saying, I cannot control the results, but that does not mean there is nothing I can do or nothing I should do. This is the opposite of helplessness. You do your best, you try and then you watch and see what happens. And of course you cannot really know until you try.
ADAM KAHANE is a director of Reos Partners, where his consulting, facilitating and teaching all focus on helping people work together to address their most important and difficult challenges. He worked in this way in more than fifty countries, with executives and politicians, generals and guerrillas, civil servants and trade unionists, community activists and clergy. He is author of several books including “Transformative Scenario Planning,” “Power and Love” and “Solving Tough Problems.” Homepage, Twitter.
